Have a Kung Fu Christmas!!

"I just want a Kung Fu Christmas!"

Here's a new los amigos tradition. Last year's "Kung Fu Christmas" piece received a lot of comments and, based on google referrer stats, a bit of attention (google Kung Fu Christmas and see what comes up), so I'm reposting this holiday offering (I'm too busy to post anything new right now anyway. Plus, I'm a sucker for holiday traditions). So, here, once again, is one of my favorite pieces of Christmas music . . .

One of my favorite holiday songs is a parody. But not some dumb ass "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" horseshit. No. This is a lovingly crafted, sublimely executed Motown / Philly soul holiday parody by the National Lampoon Radio Hour circa 1974, the same year Carl Douglas hit it big with his monster disco soul smash: "Kung Fu Fighting." So naturally it follows that a "Kung Fu Christmas" was right around the corner . . .

There's a man comin' today with lots of loot
He got a pimp-mo-sleigh, a red and white fur suit
He's a super-fly guy, and he's awful cute
He's about to arrive bringing jingle bell jive
Santa Claus is making the Soul Train scene
pickin' out his beard with Afro Sheen
Christmas Eve's comin' with the last minute bustle
Santa tells the elves they better Do the Hustle . . .

Hey Baby, I'd like to do something extra special for you for this Christmas
-- What's that, sugar?
I thought maybe I'd buy you a big house in the South of France
-- Oh, I don't want to live in France
Well, why don't I buy you a big glass-bottom boat then honey?
-- Oh darlin', I don't want no fish lookin' up my skirt
Well, baby, let me ask you, what do you want for Christmas?
-- Oh baby, I just want a Kung Fu Christmas . . .

"Kung Fu Christmas" was written by National Lampoon Radio Hour regular Christopher Guest and Paul Shaffer (that Paul Shaffer). Guest is now known for his brilliant ensemble comedies, including Waiting for Guffman and Best of Show, featuring the likes of Parker Posey, Eugene Levy, Fred Willard, and Harry Shearer. Oh, and then there's This is Spinal Tap, another little mockumentary he co-wrote and starred in. And this year it's appropriate to feature a piece co-written by Paul Shaffer on the heels of Sunday's posting that included a video clip of Letterman and Shaffer's holiday tradition: Darlene Love performing "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)." "Kung Fu Christmas" may not be as great a piece of holiday music as Love's masterpiece, but it ain't chopped liver.

Kung Fu Christmas -- National Lampoon Radio Hour (1974)

You might think I'm joking about how much I love this parody. But you'd be wrong.


Enjoy! And have a Kung Fu Christmas!


BONUS: to round out your Kung Fu Christmas, here's the first 5 minutes ("Hey martial arts fans, are you ready to get your guts kicked out? Well get ready!") from DJ Shadow and Cut Chemist's brilliant Brainfreeze live mix, one of the most impressive mixes ever (and strictly 45 rpms!). A big shout out to Kevin over at So Much Silence for providing me with this more than a two years ago. And for your further listening pleasure, we have DJ Enki's "Kung Fu Kwaku" from the Oakland Faders mix tape that Scion made available for free when it won the "Free Up Your Mix" challenge a couple years ago.

Kung Fu Kwaku -- DJ Enki (Oakland Faders' mix)

Brainfreeze (Thunder Kick-Turntable King edit) -- DJ Shadow & Cut Chemist

kung fu santa photo by tribe member D.A.

Happy Festivus!
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